Early Morning Laffs

(1) Since José Mourinho left Chelsea in 2007. Chelsea have won 7 trophies and Arsenal have won 0."
(2) When you scream God's name during sex, I wonder if you're trying to remind Him to punish u later."
(3) The day a Ghost got involved in an accident was the day i stopped watching Nollywood."
(4) What's the relationship between
Rain & PHCN in Nigeria? It seems almost like an automatic switch thing..
(5) Someone walks up to u drinking Ice-Cream and tells u to help him with Transport-fare cos he's Stranded..pls shoot Him!"

(6)He did the Exam so well that He Took the Answer Scripts Home to show His Room-mates"
(7) That awkward moment when you type "Trophyless" on Google and the result shows "Arsenal" ­
(8) Just put currency sign in front of your pin and igbo girls would add you. > $2737A4A7
(9) Sweat from somegirls' armpits can turn blue litmus paper red."
(10) If your Girlfriend refuses to accept
the Bible & anointing oil or Qu'ran as
Vals gift, free her, na WITCH"
(11) They say love is more important thanmoney. Pls try paying a lagos conductor with a hug then run to naijacomedyclub for updates"
(12) In a Nigerian Home... If your friend forgets to greet your parents, that's the end of that friendship. If you agree"
(13) Women are like police, they might have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession!"
(14) People That Smoke Weed Before Going To Church. You Wanna Compete With The Most High?"
(15) In a Naija Home, ur parents will call u frm ur room to pick up something that is sitting literally 2 inches away from them.
(16) If God's Plan For You is BROWN TEETH, Even IRON SPONGE Cannot Change It!"
(17) If 80k brazilian hair couldn't get you a good husband, why not use it to pay a counselor to talk good sense into your life?"
(18) Ushers sef.. Dey won't allow one sleep comfortably during service.. Thought the house of God is also my father's house?"
(19) The hot girl next to me in class just fell asleep. Maybe I should fall asleep too..so I can tell my friends I slept with her?"
(20)WHITE KID: "Shut Up Dad"!!; *Dad shuts up* DAD- *Shut too* 9JA KID:
"Pale, Shut up abeg" *wakes up*....where am i?....DOCTOR: Oloshi.. Igbobi Hospital"
(21) A slap is a manual over ride mechanism used to rectify a person acting like a fool.....no one is above a manual reset."
(22) Some Igbo people with their names though, how can you be naming identicaltwins "Praise and Worship"?"
(23) U opend Ur legs &he bought U BOLD 5, U opend 4 anoda guy & he paid for Ur BIS. Pls open 4 me too, lemme
buy U d Charger."
(24) And So, I was watching a yoruba movie...and this Guy shot himself in the head THRICE...Awon Mumu!!"
(25) Someone Blocked His Dad on facebook, the Dad also Blocked Him from entering the House.
(26) One rapper just said "My blood is so full, call me 'bloody fool'".......Why lord?
(27) U can't recite a Bible Passage! but u can mention 68 Hotels & Clubs in Lagos without thinking? My Sista, ur life is blinkin on a low ba3!"
(28)Marrying a lady whose cooking skills can only be compared to Victor IKPEBA's English is suicide."
(29) All women MUST get married! No man should go unpunished!"
(30) Its only a Yoruba Father that Prices School Fees!"
(31) You try to call your GF from a public call centre on her street, and Her number appears as 'Sweet Heart' gudmorning ur excellency....